The betrayal is really hers, but I don’t want to hurt her. I want to pull her into me, into my very soul, so that she can see how I feel about her, see how this rips me up. Tie her to me so completely that she can’t ever be out of my control. This was why I sent David away in the first place. This is why I hold onto her as tightly as I do. This is why I doubt her when she says she means forever. If she can wound me like this, then how easily will she leave me when it’s warranted?
It’s a fragment of my greatest fear realized—she loves me, but she doesn’t love me enough.