I’m still feeling like a Disney princess when I leave the store mid-afternoon and head to the subway. I only work half-days because that’s all Belinda can afford, and usually that stresses me out on account of the fact that I make almost no money, but today, I’m perfectly fine with it. The sun is shining, my favorite fountain is working and sending white water splashing all over the place, and …
“Shiiit!” I yelp, slipping on the sidewalk and nearly busting my ass in the process. I’m saved by my ninja-esque skills as I grab the edge of a garbage can affixed to the concrete next to the street. I hang there for a couple seconds until I can get my feet under me again.
“Oh, man, that’s some bad luck right there,” says a guy who’s walking past and looking at the reason for my near-fall.
I cringe as I stand up and realize I’ve slipped on a dog turd. Literally. It’s a poop right there on the ground.
“Who didn’t clean up after their dog?!” I yell, for some reason imagining that the perpetrator is still hanging around the scene of the crime, when I know perfectly well he stopped, plopped, and ran. “This isn’t Paris, you know!”
I’ve heard there’s dog poop all over the sidewalks there, but here in New York, people usually take care of their doggie-business. Unfortunately, my head was too full of dreams of re-designing Belinda’s place to realize where my feet were placing themselves.
“What the hell am I going to do now?”
I look down the sidewalk and notice a man with a hot dog cart up ahead, and an idea-lightbulb goes on above my head. Hot dog carts have lots of napkins. Score.
As I start to hobble over, an alarmed expression comes over the vendor’s face and he starts shaking his finger at me.
“Oh, no, lady, no no. No doggy stuff for me. No, not for me. Not for you. No, no.” For some reason his horrible accent is making this worse. His hand becomes a stop sign. “You go away!”
Elle Casey is a prolific, NEW YORK TIMES and USA TODAY bestselling American writer who lives in Southern France with her husband, three kids, and several furry friends. She writes in several genres and publishes an average of one full-length novel per month.
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