Release Date: November 17, 2015
Cover Design: X-Potion Designs
Tobias Jackson grew up in Coburn, a town where the queer population equaled exactly one: him. Add that to the fact that his dream guy was his best friend's jerky older brother Levi Baxter, and it made hooking up virtually impossible.
Now home from college for winter break, Toby is a different person. He left Coburn for San Francisco, where he wasn't the lone gay guy and the only black kid in town. And yeah, he took advantage of what the city had to offer.
Apparently Toby isn’t the only one who’s changed. Levi’s not acting like the self-centered guy with all the answers that Toby remembers from growing up. Oh and Levi’s realized he's bisexual, which makes things a lot more interesting…
Heading back to college, Toby doesn’t expect to meet up with Levi again, despite him being in med school not far away. A surprise visit from Levi blows that assumption out of the water. As they spend more time together Toby sees Levi as more than just the fantasy. He’s complicated, unsure…he’s real. But if Toby can’t get out of the past and find the words he keeps locked inside himself, he’ll lose his chance at Levi for good.
My stomach twists and I set the coffee down, not in the mood for it. Leaning against the table, Levi watches, waiting. He doesn’t take his eyes off me, his stare so intense it finds every crack, every little sliver of a place it can seep inside me. I want to ask him what he sees. Want to know what I look like through his eyes. Does he see a half-black, gay kid without a mom? The one who doesn’t leave Chris’s side because he can’t handle getting close to anyone else and risk losing them?
“I thought we settled everything the other day,” I say finally.
“And I think that’s fucking stupid. Why can’t we hang out?”
I don’t get why in the hell he suddenly wants to get to know me. “What are you doing, man?” This isn’t him. None of it.
“I don’t know. Why are you so pissed at me? Yeah you’re Chris’s friend but what’s the big deal if you’re my friend, too? I told you the kiss was a mistake. Why can’t we just forget about it and move the fuck on?”
It’s that last comment that pushes me over the edge. I shove away from the counter, my muscles coiled tight in anger. “Because you’ve been a dick to us our whole lives! You always thought you were too good for us. You treated Chris like shit and the whole fucking time I still had a hard-on for you. Jesus, I used to jack off to thoughts of you. The whole time I hid it from Chris because it already pissed him off that everyone thought the sun rose and set on your ass. And then you come back and act like a totally different person. You want to spend time with me, kiss me and then say oh that was a mistake because even though you swing both ways, you’re obviously still too good for me. You act like I wanted to marry you instead of just bone you, and then you show up at my house with coffee and donuts like—oh fuck.”
Levi’s body slams into mine. I stumble backward, hitting the wall, Levi squeezes my body between it and him. He smells like soap and coffee. His body’s hot and hard, molded against me. He pushes forward, his erection rubbing against mine, the friction making pleasure thrum through me. I don’t have time to form a clear thought before we’re mouth to mouth the same way we’re body to body. His tongue pushes in and I let it. Suck it, before feeding him mine as well.
There’s a vibration when he moans; it radiates from Levi into me, making my cock get even harder.
His hands slide up and he grabs the sides of my face. I squeeze his tight ass, and my reward is a second moan from him as he kisses deeper, rubs off on me, so fucking close it’s like he wants to climb inside me.
Levi’s mouth slides down my neck. He sucks my skin into his mouth.
But then my stupid brain takes over when really I just want to turn the damn thing off and follow my dick’s lead. “What the hell are we doing?” I ask.
Levi just shrugs, still kissing at the tender skin of my throat. “You said you wanted me back then. The question now is do you still? Because I’m telling you, Toby, I don’t know when it happened, but I want you now.”
Nyrae Dawn can almost always be found with a book in her hand or an open document on her laptop. She couldn’t live without books—reading or writing them. Oh, and chocolate. She’s slightly addicted.
She feels a special pull to characters in their teens. There’s something so fresh and fun about the age that she adores exploring. Her husband says it’s because she doesn’t want to grow up. She doesn’t think that’s such a bad thing. Luckily for her, he doesn’t either.
Nyrae gravitates toward character-driven stories. Whether reading or writing, she loves emotional journeys. It’s icing on the cake when she really feels something, but is able to laugh too. She’s a proud romantic, who has a soft spot for flawed characters. She loves people who aren’t perfect, who make mistakes, but also have big hearts.
Nyrae is living her very own happily ever after in California with her gorgeous husband (who still makes her swoon) and her two incredibly awesome kids.
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