Hearing murmurs coming from a corner of the room, I begin to stir. My eyelids are heavy, more than likely from all the drugs. All I ever do is sleep so I couldn’t possibly be tired. In fact, I should be rested, but I’m not, for my sleep is never really restful. One horrifically painful memory, playing over and over again while I sleep, isn’t exactly my idea of a good night’s rest.
The more awake I become, the more my curiosity grows, and the faster my heart begins to beat. The anxiety is slowly creeping in again. I do my best to control it, but instead I find myself taking quick shallow breaths. The feeling is all too familiar. I know myself well enough to know that I need to calm down. I’d done it before. In fact, at one point of my life, I’d been a professional at controlling my anxiety, and I know all the strategies to get myself under control. But those strategies I learned so long ago don’t do much for me anymore. In fact, they’re useless…powerless. Just a weak David pitched against an all-too-strong Goliath. The gaping whole in my chest is just too much to overcome.
They were the only things in my life that made sense, and their love for me was the only thing that kept me going. Without it, I wouldn’t know how to go on living. Like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, Michael had put me back together and Zoe had made me whole again, igniting something deep within me that I thought had been lost forever. I feel a tear prick my eyes. If I had known that morning would be the last time I’d hug her, I would have never let go.
Eventually, despite the urge to know what’s going on around me, I stop trying to open my eyes. Lying awake, with my eyes still closed, will have to suffice. I’ve completely lost track of time. No one can talk to me about what happened because straight away I start losing it, and they have to drug me again. The two people who loved me unconditionally, are gone. It’s bad enough that I have to relive it every day and night in my dreams, I don’t need someone talking to me about it in my consciousness.
It’s unbearable to hear about them, and the way they were taken from me. The words cut through my heart, slicing through all my hopes and dreams, and leaving cut up pieces behind. I can’t deal. I won’t deal. So instead, I scream to get them to stop.
Truth is, I already know what happened, all too well in fact. It’s something that I will never forget, no matter how badly I want to. I just don’t want them, or anyone for that matter, talking to me. I don’t want to think about it. To know that I finally got what was coming to me was punishment enough.
*I received an ARC in exchange for honest review*
“Kismet: A power that is believed to control what happens in the future”
After reading the synopsis for Kismet, I had a conversation with the author, and said that I was excited about Kismet as it looks very good, and I have a feeling that I'm going to need tissues. Well after reading, Kismet was more than just good; it was amazing just like A.E Woodward said it would be. Yes, I did need tissues, and lots of them.
After the loss of her husband, daughter, and unborn baby, Katie’s world comes crumbling down; heartbroken with grief, pain and the guilt that only she survived, Katie shuts down and won’t talk to anyone. In hopes, to help her heal, she moves back to her family’s horse farm. Whist there, she is reunited with Parker McKenzie, her brother’s best friend, whom she has known since she was little. Katie and Parker share a history there was and is much more to their friendship, but Parker is one of the reasons she feels so guilty about what she has lost.
The story, told mainly from Katie’s POV, is about second chances, forgiveness, new beginnings, strength and learning to live again. Kismet is not an easy read; it was an emotional rollercoaster from the very first chapter. My heart went out to Katie as I could feel her heartache, anguish and despair. I could feel her emotions; understand the reasons why she struggled to cope with what happened, and to find herself again. Why she felt what happened was a result of her secrets and the choices she had made. I did have a feeling I knew what the secret was and therefore, I was anxious to keep reading to see if I was right, and see how this aspect of the story would unfold.
Every so often A.E gave us Parker’s POV, normally when this happens I always wish there was more of the male characters POV, but in this case what we got was just perfect and was the right balance. It always came at the point in the story when it was needed so you got an insight into what Parker was thinking, his demons, his secret, his heartache and despair. I loved the way Parker was with Katie, so patient and understanding, affectionate, wanted to help her heal, help her recovery, and move forward with her life.
Overall, I loved this book, the ending was bittersweet and it made sense to the essence of the story but wow! It did make me cry. I’m a big fan of A.E Woodward and love her A Series of Imperfections series. She said this was going to be different, and it was. I have to say well done to A.E for writing Kismet, as it was a beautiful, breathtaking and poignant read that was well written and a story that is going to stay with me for a long time. The emotions of A.E’s writing and characters pulled me in from the very first chapter.
I highly recommend that you one click this book today, but just remember you will need tissues.
"Fate can be a beautiful thing. The universe works in mysterious ways. It brings you hope, makes you feel alive, like the world full of possibilities. But the truth is that fate can also be a cruel bitch”
“All the degrees and training in the world can’t touch my emotional damages. I have nothing left to live for”
“It scares me, feeling these feelings again, because they are feelings that I spent years trying to forget”
“In a heap in the hallway, I cry for him, for me, for them. Because I seem to be the only one who realizes that there is no saving any of us.We are broken.”
“I know without a doubt that Parker is the key to putting me back together. I just wonder how we’ll get there”
“We just weren’t ready for each other. But now… well, now I think we can learn to love again….together”
“Katie and I have always been in this weird limbo-stuck between what is right, and what we feel, everything we’ve ever wanted just a whisper and a touch away.”
“Sometimes you have to hurt in order to heal”
A.E. Woodward lives in Vacationland with her husband and two children. Between her day job and the pursuance of a master’s degree, she wrote her first novel. Her novel Imperfectly Real is the second book in the A Series of Imperfections. She currently working on the third book in the series and Kismet a standalone.
Facebook | Goodreads